2018
Creative Writing

Sour



I was thinking today of people who like sour over sweet. What is it exactly that attracts them to it - I know little of. But I do assign myself to that type of people and that gives me an idea that actually what defines “sour people” is customisation. They all customise the taste of sour to some peculiar and specific traits of themselves. Sour is always awakening, sour is refreshing, sour is arousing, pumping, restarting and rebirthing. Why so? I don’t know. Ask nature or doubt my words. There is no other way around it.

As a disclaimer at the beginning: I won’t talk of others today, at least I’ll try to, even if some gut feeling hints me that it won’t happen. Also I will try not to be grumpy (another impossible task) and for the first time in a while I will talk about myself directly. Theo will not be here with me today, translating my thoughts to you.

For the most of my conscious past few years I deliberately attempt to eliminate the amount of “I” in my work, in written words, stories, description texts etc.. Why? I guess not to sound arrogant and self-assured, or simply it is too bold to put “I” next to other words in a sentence without interpreting, specifying and dissecting of what that “I” actually is. How is it connected to “sour” one may ask? Most people in my surrounding know this answer perfectly well as my Moto for life: pretty much as everything is already connected by nature. Thinking of what my “I” is, it seems as the question is not whether “I” exists or not, but rather in the structure of our society and how we are framed into narrow thinking. We are told that it is better to find one specific thing and be good at it, rather then jumping over the bushes with no depth in our mind. This can be perfectly illustrated simply by the system of higher education: “tailor your study” “graduated specialist” “narrow down your focus and dig deep”. I do agree with some parts of this conception, but how does this affect our “I”’s? As much as we are discussing the globalisation/ multiculturalness, internationality, travel etc… It is, if you critically look at it, just us talking about things that are barely connected to our reality, and the nature of living beings that are born with the need to categorise and segregate. These are shaping our ideas of belonging, and please, don’t get me wrong here. By “belonging” - the last thing I refer to is that socio-cultural emotional bullshit that is constantly on our lips these days. What I mean, is somewhat raw, uncooked, rotting and smelling but still alive.. We say “My mom is from here, my dad is from there, thus I am both”. But till which extent in our physical reality, where I can touch you and you can touch me, is that true? Because in the end we are something singular, and it is not in everyone’s nature to metamorph into anything through sheer will. I think this is time we go back to the Sour People.

Does anyone remember some years ago there were pens that could switch multiple colors? At some point they became oddly popular and “trendy”.

Click… Click… Click… Red…. Click… Black… Click… Blue… Click…

Equally useful to some extent. I am like that pen, constantly clicking and I’ll dare to say - most sour people are. We do not have constant universal belonging. We click. Click… Click… Purple….. Click… .. We click with different cultures, we find ourselves drowning , dissolving in the diverse spectre or nations and climates.. And here I don not mean those: “I love traveling and experiencing things” people. As well as I am not talking of cultural appropriation. What I mean is people who feel painful organic happiness over weird nostalgic French musicals of 2007, while finding other parts of themselves hidden in books of Dreiser and Joyce in the meantime dancing cha cha cha as if they were born to move this way only. People that do all of this and in the end belong to everything, honestly, to the deepest of their core, whilst belonging to nothing in particular.

Funny that this illustrates perfectly how connected we actually can be if we look broader and are not made from plastic sitting in comfortable boxes. We should be all sour. All sour, because this bitterness and acidity is always awakening, refreshing, arousing, pumping, restarting and rebirthing. Why so? Because sweet is way too comfortable. And every time you click to change and open other sides of yourself up - you need a juicy slap in your cheek to be able to experience the following taste fully. So fully that your tongue would shiver in ecstasy from sapidity of our world.
The same way you switch plates between meals.

Click… Click… Click… Click… Click…

Today I am jumping over bushes you may say. Partly, in someone’s view I might be exaggerating and hard to follow. Unclear. Irritating. Might be even obvious. But that is what will drive you and me actually, to question, find answers or stay confused, because not knowing - is the biggest satisfaction before the end. And in the end - this is how evolution happens. Let us not be singular, defined. People who have no belonging are on a path o discoveries. And being sour only helps them to enjoy it to the fullest.